27-year-old woman refuses to attend boyfriend's family vacations after she wears herself thin trying to gain their approval, is left reconsidering their entire relationship: 'I felt emotionally drained and completely unwelcome'

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jun 17, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Gaining the approval of a loved one's family isn't always an easy task. In a perfect world, you would be yourself, wholeheartedly, and they would absolutely adore you. I'm talking baking you a pie and showering you with niceties, not because they have to, but because they want to. Everyone should experience potential in-laws who actually like them—but that's not always the case now, is it?

The worst part about sticky situations like this is if or when your partner refuses to defend you against their family's harsh criticisms. It's one thing for their family to speak badly about you, but it's an entirely different problem if their unwarranted criticism doesn't make your partner's defense come out to play. At the end of the day, you must ask yourself: "Will it always be like this?"

In this next story, a woman refuses to attend any of her boyfriend's future family vacations after he fails to defend her when his family speaks poorly about her character. It's never a comfy conversation in situations like these, but you do what you have and want to do for love. Scroll below to read the entire story.

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  • "His mom made a comment about how I 'wasn't raised with manners.""
    via A. C. For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "Am I overreacting for not wanting to go on a second vacation with my boyfriend’s family after the first one left me in tears?"

    Last year, my boyfriend (29M) invited me (27F) to join his family on a weeklong vacation his parents, two siblings, and their
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • partners were all going. I was excited because it felt like a big step in our relationship and a chance to bond with his family. I
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • even used up most of my PTO for the trip and helped pitch in financially where I could.
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • But from the start, things felt off. His mom made passive- aggressive comments about me not being helpful enough, even though I cooked, helped clean,
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • and offered to pick up anything we needed. His sister barely acknowledged me and acted like I was just in the way. When I tried to join conversations or be
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • friendly, I was either ignored or talked over. I mentioned it to my boyfriend, but he brushed it off and said, "That's just how they are."
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • It all came to a head one night when his mom made a comment about how I "wasn't raised with manners." I was so embarrassed I ended up crying alone in the
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • bathroom. Again, my boyfriend told me I was being "too sensitive" and that I needed to stop taking things so personally.
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • Cheezburger Image 10517914624
    via Karolina Grabowska For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • By the end of the trip, I felt emotionally drained and completely unwelcome.
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • Now his family is planning another vacation, and he wants me to come along. I told him I'm really uncomfortable with the
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • idea, and he got upset, saying I was making things harder than they need to be and holding a grudge. I honestly just don't want to go through that again. But now I'm wondering... am I overreacting?
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • Jacco3D Dont go. Honestly your bf doesnt seem to respect you or understand you if he's ok with ANYONE (be it family or not! being cruel and disrespectful towards you.
    via Jacco3D
  • Talk with him, read the situation and figure out if you want to live a life with him where you have to endure that sh. Personally, I'd get out.
    via Jacco3D
  • FewPlumTgirlnic Thank you, honestly. That's what I've been struggling with like, if he won't stand up for me now, what's that going to look like long- term? I've tried to explain how hurt I felt, but he keeps brushing it off like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. It's starting to make me question a lot more than just this trip.
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • HauntingGur4402 Why are you still with him... he allowed his family to treat you like crop and he just shrugged it off like it was nothing... like your feelings didnt count!
    via HauntingGur4402
  • FewPlumTgirlnic I really thought he'd eventually understand how much the whole situation affected me, but instead he keeps acting like I'm overreacting or making a big deal out of nothing. I've tried to explain where I'm coming from, hoping he'd at least acknowledge my feelings, but it's
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • like he doesn't even want to hear it. I care about him a lot, which makes this even harder, but the way he's handled this has made me step back and look at the bigger picture. It's starting to feel like if he can't support me in something this basic, I might need to rethink where this relationship is going.
    via FewPlumTgirlnic
  • Mountain_Prior6723 That would make me crash out then they'd really have seen no manners don't go again, just tell your boyfriend you'll go on holidays with just you and him. Plus you're not kids anymore you're old enough to have your own family, so if they're not good to be around then don't
    via Mountain_Prior6723

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Dating-Relationships relationship advice aita relationship relationship-drama reddit story relationships entitled people karma entitled reddit thread Reddit toxic relationship relationship drama entitled people
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